.me.you.them.

Yesterday was a horrible day. Everybody was talking about you. But it wasn't the person I knew. Your name was being thrown around with derogatory remarks. I protested. But they seemingly proved me wrong. I crumpled.. Everything became unrealistic. Everything became lies. Second guessing was all I could do..
That night I finally spoke of it to someone. Someone I trust beyond belief.. I told them a story. I told them its meaning. I told them everything.. And I cried. I couldnt hardly breath. I couldn't even speak your name without choking on my words. Soooo many tears. It was slightly annoying. But the guilt and shame I felt inside of myself were too much to keep in any longer. I've been clinging so long to the hope. I've been clinging so long to the faith. However, I have no idea what happened. But I was told to stop clinging to something that never was there..
But I don't think I can. It's become second nature because I've been doing it most of my life..
Perhaps, I cling to the hope because I just can't believe that I helped in creating this "monster."

I'm so sorry. 18 years together and this is where we are.. I hope for you. My faith in you will always be there. And I wish you the best of luck on you journey..


P.s. I thank them for listening.. It meant the absolute world to me.

sh.