paint me a picture..

i woke up this morning. i recieved a fairly cute picture of you in your pajamas.. you made me smile with my tears. you're hilariously funny. sure you have some bad habits, but don't we all? ..your nice. you aaalways compliment me. something i never had. but. when i wanna smile in your eyes, i can't. when i want to playfully hit you bc i can, i can't. when i want to hold your hand for reassurance, i can't. when i want to collapse in your arms bc the weight of everthing is too heavy for me to hold by myself.. i can't.

i woke up this morning. i recieved a fairly cute picture of a guy in his pajams.. i instantly thought of you. you made me laugh so hard. you were like the biggest challenge i have ever been given. you were so hard to figure out, but i admired that about you. you didn't say many cute things but when you did they were worth the wait. and i can't forget the way you called me baby.. like you didn't want it to sound to serious but yet you added just enough to it to make it mean something.. baby. when i want to tell you to come back to me, i can't. when i want to scream at you and tell you that you're causing me so much pain, i can't. when i want to feel you kiss me again, i can't. when i want to be with you all the time bc i got so used to that feeling.. i can't.

i will wake up to tomorrow. with the same problems. i'll wish i was with they one i want to be w, but i'll never get to be with bc of distance. and i'll wish i could just forget the one i need to be with, but i'll text him first and continue this nonsense.

.sh.