you cry and you scream and you act pathetic. you skip out on showers and you lay in bed for days on end. you have pity parties. you get irritable and you push everyone away. you cry in bed. you cry in the shower. you cry in your car. you let your heart ache. you let the pain throb and pulse through your entire body. you blame them. you blame yourself. you blame the world. you pretend you are getting better, only to have a relapse. you drink irresponsibly, in hopes that you'll forget them for one night. however, this will only back fire and you'll end up crying harder and trying to drunk dial them. you consider giving up on life. you gather the strength to get up and take a shower. only to break down once you start the water. you attempt to completely remove them from your life. you can't bear being around anyone or anything, because everything around you reminds you of them. you watch romance movies and listen to love songs. you have your good days and your bad days. you distract yourself at times, and other times you sit semi comfortably with your misery. you wait for them to come back, no matter how unrealistic that is. you wait until you wake up and the sun shines a little different. the wind grazes you and there's a slight spring in your step. one day you catch yourself laughing genuinely. and things seem okay. you go out with friends and family again, except now you're not distracting yourself anymore. you'll still have those saturday nights when you sob, but happiness will grow again. it just takes strength and patience.
am.
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