saving lives.

i think promise rings are overrated. if a guy is willing to commit like that, why wouldn't he just ask you to marry him? why prolong what he basically says is going to happen with a promise ring.

i promise to promise you that i'll someday get married to you.

bull shit! first off. men's promises don't mean anything. unless it's your gay best friend, i would never trust a guy until he proves himself trustworthy. my friend got a promise ring from her boyfriend last year.. an update: she isn't with him anymore (what a promise) and i now have the ring. (i have a fettish with shiny things)

bottom line is. promises are stupid if they don't mean anything.. no. scratch that. all promises are stupid. if you want to have a secret kept between two people then you have to pinky promise. bc those are ligit.

and if you break them. there's a 100% possibility that you're going to hell. :)

[.sh.]

breath.

The frost bitten air grabbed my breath and stabbed my lungs as he led the way into the damp forest. I could feel the rage of numbness over taking my body instantly. I fell into sync with his footsteps. Left, right, left, right, his rhythmic pattern embedded into my mind as i followed him almost too closely, like a child afraid of losing her most prized possession.. Only one part of the big picture was on my mind, i was going to miss him entirely. He had been my best friend ever since we met in fourth grade and boy did he fit the part perfectly. HE was my one and only. HE was the magnet that held the best to the friend. HE was James Tyler Moore..

i'm writing a story. i think i like it.

sh.

B.A.

why do we spend our whole lives waiting for the impossible?

you think we'd have more sense then that.

sh.

wreck.

i know you could have been easier on me
you could have been all i held on to
i know you weren't fair
and i tried my best to not care about you.
i know you could have been a better man
but you always had to have the upper hand
so now i'm struggling to see the better side of me.

i guess i never knew you after all.

am.

done.

i did it. i finally broke away from you and your nonsense. you tried to get me to stick around incase what you have going gor you now doesn't work out. but no. i'm done. i'm cutting every string that holds us together. you said i mean a lot to you and want to talk to me and want to be friends. but i finally stuck up for myself. no. we can't be friends. we can't be anything. there is no we anymore. there could have been, but i'm not willing to put my heart on the line anymore for you. you abused the privledge. so now i'm gone.

see ya.

am.

go.

so a friend and i bonded yesterday by cleaning out our cars. barely any words were said, but really none had to be spoken. it was nice in its own little way. i'd even go as far as to say it was peaceful. i liked it. how awkward right?

i find it kind of weird that i can find so much enjoyment out of nothing. it was manual labor and it took awhile but it was good. i think i liked that i could just be in my own mind and have that comfort of not being alone. i didn't have to speak of the events that went on in my day or anything. i could rest in my thoughts.

she didn't push any subjects either. she probably was thinking the same thing as i was, sometimes it's nice not to have question and answers. it's nice to be understood without a breath passing btw two people.
.sh.

.edits.

i woke up this morning with one thing on my mind. chaos. i don't know what that means or if i should even ponder it at all. but i do. so many things go on in a persons life that just make it chaotic. but what i hate is when someone thinks that their life is so much worse then any one else's. everybody has their problems. some just choose not to be affected by then.

as i'm writing this i'm not sure why i even said some of the things i said. i guess that's what happens to a person if they wake up with one word on their mind. chaos.

sh.

..

"Hello," he said.

"Goodbye," i whispered.

sh.

game over.

okay. so when two people break up don't you think that they'd still some what care for the other person?

of course you will. well, certain people claim they don't but yet act all angry towards the other and then always tried to find any girl to flirt with. if you're flirting with her best friend then obviously you want to get her attention because you still care and want her to to be jealous, but really you're the jealous one.

get over yourself...mmmk?

the other other guy. stop like never talking to me and then all of a sudden start txtin me smile faces and saying you love my mom and doind stupid little thing to me....and then you act like it was all nothing. like it's okay for you to keep playing me like this.

well, i see past everything you're doing now. you can't fool me anymore.

game over.

am.

..blinded.

i cried. i missed. i wished. i wanted. i dreamed.. all because of you. because you left me.

but the truth is, it's your loss.

you'll cry. you'll miss. you'll wish. you'll want. you'll dream.. all because of me.

because you'll realize that i was the only person in the world who would never give up on you. and you'll be broken.

and i'll be ok.

sh.

it'll come back to get you.

i can see past your "innocence."

you may have everyone else fooled, but no. not me. i know who you really are. and who you are is a bad person. it makes me want to cry. it makes my sick to my stomach.

you could be someone so wonderful. the way you held me so gently. the guy you were around me. you were someone great. what happened?

why do you choosee to be this guy? why do you make hell for yourself? make hell for me?

am.

..few words.

i can't believe you.

hatred is burning through me veins.

i can't wait to look way better then anything you were looking for in someone else on the night that i get to be cinderella..

and you get to be that guy who could've been my prince charming.



!sh.

i don't understand.

what makes her so much better than me?!
how come you left my loving arms for hers? what does she have that i don't?

i gave you everything and you said you'd never leave me.you said i was perfect for you and you loved me because i was true and real and i actually cared. what happened?

what made you wanna leave? why didn't you trust in us? you found a new girl. and i look at her and wonder what she has that i don't....what made you leave me for her?

she now has you and i'm sitting here staring at her wishing i still had you.

am.