bestest.friend

I am so lucky.
So lucky to have a friend like you.

<3

am.

.you're already the voice inside my head.

where are you?
and i'm so sorry,
i can not sleep, i can not dream tonight.
i need somebody and always,
this sick strange darkness comes creeping on,
and haunting everytime.


am.

.oursong.

I've been..

dreaming of you.
missing you.
waiting for our time.
impatient with how slow time has been passing.
holding dearly to the fact I'll get to see you soon.
hoping you're just as anxious as I am.

I've been..

sh.

.i'm falling.

everything is spiralling out of control.
i now only eat once a day if that. i'm just never hungry anymore and i don't know why.
i am always tired, no matter how much i sleep i just want to sleep more.
i actually meet tons of new and exciting people but when i sit and think all i think of is being with my best friend.
seems like people are trying to tear us apart again. even 2 of the closest people i know.

i just want to be where you are.
i want to run to you and sit on your bed late at night talking about my day,
or what is bothering me.
i want to go get taco johns late at night.
i want you to braid my hair once a week again.
i want to stay up and take pictures all night.
i want to watch scary movies and hold on to you so tight to make sure you're there.

i don't want to go through this transition without you.
going from seeing you everyday and every night to hardly ever is killing me.
that last long gaze we shared is imprinted in my mind.
it was like a help me.
don't leave me.
don't forget me.



am.

.someoneoncetoldmewordscan'thurt.

..fuck this.




sh.

maybe.maybe not.

people have been coming up to me and telling me how much you've changed.
i told them wrong and i didn't want ot believe them.
one even said how you occasionally start to put my name in with a bunch of foul language.
i still didn't believe, but i started watching.
and you have changed.
a lot.



am.

.today'sthedaywhendreamingends.

I FUCKING MISS YOU..




.sh.

please. please come save me.

you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be.
and i don't wanna go.
all i can breathe is our memories.
and you can't fight the tears that keep coming.
i just only want you to know who i am.
because i don't think the world understands.

i need my other half.
it isn't physcially possible for a human to only live with half their parts.

i miss you.
i need you.


......i miss you.


am.